Tabularaza

I think the one constant in my life is that I keep starting over.  I am well past the second chances I have been granted.  Just kept going and never retracted my missteps.  Winged it.  I have outgrown them, resilient.

Regrets are plenty but it is a futile affair.  I have imagined scenarios in countless ways.  I should have finished better or I should have done it like this.  I question myself.  The standard will remain high.  Who else would hold me accountable for my private failures?

I can only hope to make the best of now. It is funny to think about the subject of “potential”, which I kept hearing about throughout my life. I have been measured up against such expectations, by qualities I have that easily impress. Others have called me brilliant yet I have delivered mediocre results – by my objective estimation.  

I cannot keep punishing myself for the impact of my choices.  I can only become wiser.

The reality is that I am at the best accomplishment of my life.  I could analyze the past in many different ways to affect the present. But doing so will only render my ambitions meaningless.  

I am twenty-six and I am still hungry.  Very hungry.