I think the one constant in my life is that I keep starting over. I am well past the second chances I have been granted. Just kept going and never retracted my missteps. Winged it. I have outgrown them, resilient.
Regrets are plenty but it is a futile affair. I have imagined scenarios in countless ways. I should have finished better or I should have done it like this. I question myself. The standard will remain high. Who else would hold me accountable for my private failures?
I can only hope to make the best of now. It is funny to think about the subject of “potential”, which I kept hearing about throughout my life. I have been measured up against such expectations, by qualities I have that easily impress. Others have called me brilliant yet I have delivered mediocre results – by my objective estimation.
I cannot keep punishing myself for the impact of my choices. I can only become wiser.
The reality is that I am at the best accomplishment of my life. I could analyze the past in many different ways to affect the present. But doing so will only render my ambitions meaningless.
I am twenty-six and I am still hungry. Very hungry.